Sunday, January 21, 2007

Wedding Weekend

Today my friend JJ got married. I was in the wedding so I wasnt able
to take many pictures. You will have to check my flickr page in a
few days as I will be putting some up. I think this is almost the
last wedding I will be going to except my own. Two friends of ours
are getting married at camp the weekend before we are. Man the times
are changing. It is that time when it seems all my friends are
getting married. Its just that time of life. It is really sad and a
little scary that also many of them are having trouble and some are
divorcing who have been married for only a few years (or less!).
When we were at Lee we heard that the divorce rate for people who get
married right out of school (or while still in school) is 50%. I can
think of a few couples that I know right now who are no longer
couples. I hope that statistic changes.

This makes me want to know what the problem is. The people that I
know who have married and divorced are not those who got married
frivolously. When I think of the decline of the institution of
marriage the classic example that comes to mind is hollywood
marriages that fall apart after a couple months. These are not
hollywood people that I am thinking of. They believed in what they
were doing. Maybe too much. I think unrealistic expectations can be
part of it. But what expectations are unrealistic? I think
expecting all your problems to go away after you get married is
unrealistic and illogical. What else do people expect?

I wonder because I really dont want to not be married to Julie. In
fact I really want to be married to Julie. A lot. For a long time,
just about as long as we both shall live. Maybe I dont know what Im
getting into. I want to put in the work on the front end to set up
structures and practices and habits that will be helpful for each other.

JJ's wedding was very nice and classy and well produced. It was big,
there were a lot of people, I dont know how many. We were a big
party; filling the stage. It seemed to fit with JJ and Jeana. Julie
and I will be much lower key I think, not as much production. That
will fit with us. But of course the ceremony is more the realm of
pastors and soon to be pastors to put together.

2 comments:

Rockin' it up said...

Expect that there will be rough times. Expect that you'll argue about money, chores, and the time you spend on whatever you spend it on. Expect that you'll have a hard time actually SLEEPING with another person in a bed (snoring, etc) for the first few weeks. Expect that, just like before you got married, you'll work these things out, because you love that person and you want to work through it. Like our pastor said last week, "you have to be willing to go THROUGH the off-road times so that you'll get to the smooth riding times. But you will go off-road again and again, just keep driving and you'll be ok."

hope that helps, hope you guys are doing great. we miss seeing you.

AJDele said...

Does going off-road require big knobby tires? Haha, we are doing great. Its great being here, maybe the two of you need to make a trip up to Chciago? Its where all the cool people are!